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why do i do these things to myself?

so, i was dreading going, and the night on a whole wasn’t SO bad.
but i’m gonna call it quits.
…. i just have to figure out a way to do it without feeling guilty.

i’m not sure if the whole ‘guilt factor’ of helping out with the place is self-inflicted or if the guilt is layered on me by someone else.
it’s probably my own doing…. twisting ppl’s words in my head … hearing the ‘unsaid words’…
haha

so, there’s a guy there who has an uncanny way of ‘teaching’ things in every conversation… like turning things into ’serious discussions’.

for example, i was playing cards with some kids, the card game ended and they went to go play frisbee.
they asked me if i wanted to go and i said, ‘no thanks’.
and then the guy came along and was like, ‘why not?’

i guess the proper thing to do would be to go play with them, without question…

but i told him ‘i’m no good at frisbee’.

i guess i should be fair to the guy. the FULL answer that i should’ve given was:
“I don’t like playing frisbee. I’m no good at playing frisbee. I don’t like playing frisbee.”

anyways, he says something like, “that’s okay, [some kid] isn’t good at it either. Don’t ever let lack of talent stop you from doing something.”

me, “okay…”
hah, but i’m still not going out to play frisbee!!!

they’re asking for volunteers for the nursery for the summer.
i want to go sign up for that, cuz babies are fun to laugh at.
*ahem* i mean ‘play with’.
but i remember doing it back in the day and people expecting that i know stuff about kids.
meh, i guess they’ll find out when the time comes!

i learned something today!
apparently bus drivers from different cities are friendly with each other!
lol, wouldn’t it be funny if they were like rivals?
well, this morning, i missed two busses and ended up getting to work late. ( i slept in and didn’t feel like running out of the house to catch the early/regular one. then i missed the one that gets me to work only 5 min early…haha booo for them!)

and on the drive there we passed a Toronto Transit Bus and the driver waved at my bus drivier!

the other day i woke up with the song ‘Dead Wrong’ by The Fray but i was atLEAST able to listen to the song on the way to work and get it ‘out of my system’.

i don’t understand how these random songs pop into my head as soon as i wake up.

but this morning i had no time to hunt down Walking on my computer, so i had the song in my head all morning….

so this afternoon it just so happened that my mom and i went to get something to drink at the same time.
she got water and put it in her ‘thermos’, and i got orange juice and put it in a coffee mug.
we both started drinking at the same time.
we were both standing in our kitchen drinking as if we were incredibly thirsty or something.
so while my cup was still fairly full i say to her, “i bet i can drink mine first!”
and i start to try to chug it.

and she’s totally not playing the game… .which of course cracks me up

i had an “interesting” conversation with my boss today. conversation/chat.
actually, now that i think of it, he’s probably by boss’ boss.
he’s funny cuz sometimes i think he doesn’t have anything to do.
like he comes out of his office and jokes around with ‘his people’ and distracts them.
well maybe he just does that as a way to stay connected…. cuz we all know what’s going on with eachother, but he has no clue b/c he’s not in a cubicle.
lol, that’s the price you pay for a fancy office!

speaking of which, i had no work to do this morning (as usual) and after finding a few things to do i decided to fiddle with my window blinds.
co-worker says to me: “hey Catherine did you find stuff to do?”
me: “yeah! i’m fidding with my blinds!”
i’m very excited about them.
my seat faces these MASSIVE windows looking out onto the parking lot and beyond.
i enjoy it.
especially when the garbage truck comes.
hah, seriously, garbage day is like the highlight of my week.
i guess this is the first time i’ve ever really ‘examined’ the way a truck empties huge dumpsters.
they have these ‘hands’ at the front and they pick the thing up in the air and flip it over and let the garbage fall into the truck!!!
i love it cuz sometimes the dumpster bangs on the truck as if there’s something stuck inside the dumpster that they want to fall off.

anyways, i feel like i’ve been really antisocial lately….
i guess cuz i’d been hanging out with people atLEAST daily before i started working… and now it’s like nothing.
yesterday i didn’t even check my email!
hehe, i went to sleep at 9:00pm.

ooo i was watching pbs just now (that’s right! the Public Broadcasting Station) and they had this really cool ‘documentary’ on supersonic travel and The Concord.
i learned what the sonicboom is!
lol, before i thought it was just a fun word that was made up in video games.
SONICBOOM!!

i did the normal thing of walking to the lunch room to fill up my thermos with my special mocca coffee! (in the morning it’s 2/3 coffee, 1/3 hot chocolate. and if i have it in the afternoon i switch it to 1/2 coffee.)

well, i put in the coffee and hot chocolate and was cleaning up the bit of hot choco that i spilled (i overfilled the cup. ) when some guy comes in the and says to the other person there, “oh, i guess no one made any coffee this morning!!”
and she responds and they chat.

heh, and i look up at the coffee pot and realize that the “coffee was made” sign CLEARLY indicates that this batch of coffee was made YESTERDAY morning.

so, Jon Bon Jovi was on Oprah today (i realized that b/c of timeshifting, i can still watch the episodes! yayyy for British Columbia!).

you know, he’s really goodlooking for a guy his age.
haha, i shouldn’t say that, he’s not even that old. i think he’s 43…

i didn’t watch the whole episode though, b/c a REALLY old Law and Order SVU was on at the same time.
it was a great episode.
it might’ve been the first one ever, b/c they really looked into the personal lives of the main characters.
the captain’s wife was a flight attendant and died in a plane crash.

and here’s more work talk:

i think i’ve worked among students for too long.
b/c of the size of the office, sometimes i forget people’s names.
and when that happens i always say to myself,
why aren’t we wearing name tags? it’d be so much more convenient!
and then i realize that these are actually grown adults and it would be silly to wear nametags every day since you work with the same people everyday.

and then 3 hours later i forget someone’s name and think, ‘this wouldn’t happen if we were wearing nametags!… oh wait…’
and that happens a few more times that day.

on a different note, they have these COOL picture ‘posters’ of each person on their respective “cubicles”. (it’s not really a poster, it’s just an 8.5x11 laminated piece of paper.)
i think it’s a GREAT idea.
there’s a pic of the person sitting at their desk. (facing the camera and smiling as if they love their job.)
and then it lists their education, favourite food, favourite tv show, dream vacation and a couple other things.

when i first realized that i was so excited. going around to everyone’s cubicle and seeing what their fav show is.
there are a lot of csi fans.
one person has csi miami as her fav show. i was kinda surprised b/c David Coruso (is that his name? “Horatio”) is a really odd (bad?) actor.
he talks reallllly slow and with a deep voice.

i dunno what i’d put as my favourite show… Scrubs? The Cosby Show? Arrested Development? the 4400? lol.